Parent Alienation and Parent Alienation Syndrome

“My Ex is ....”

We’ve all heard it. Most people just say things like “My ex is the devil” or “My ex works against me” or, more to the heart of what I’m going to help you with is, “My ex is turning my kid against me”.  I’m going to help you.

What may surprise you however, is there’s an actual, clinical name for your ex being the devil himself (or herself ) and no, it’s not just their sadistic nature, well maybe it is but its called “Parental Alienation” or PA for short and the wreckage it leaves behind and how it affects your child is called Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS for short and it’s something you may be dealing with, but not for much longer. We’re going to fix that.

Your Child is a Weapon

PA encompasses any of the horrible stuff one parent can do to weaponize the child against the other parent.

It can be your child saying “Dad says you’re unreliable”,“Dad says you’re a flake because you were late again”, “Mom says you’re a loser”, those kind of cutting weapons which immediately bring you to a boil, or perhaps you “counter attack”, further weaponizing your child by saying “Oh yeah, well you’re father’s lying, cheating, lazy piece of … “  You already know it’s not good for your child.

To go a bit further and where it gets very real, and possibly legal, is when one parent denies contact, moves the child, or intentionally sabotages contact, sometimes court ordered contact, between their child and the other parent. Not only does this cause rage but it causes damage to the child which may take years to recover.  If you’re reading this far, I’m guessing some of this is familiar.

Any act which alienates the other parent is a crime in my book. It’s the most harmful form of mental abuse I’ve personally gone through or witnessed in my many years in the mental health field.  We’re dealing with an innocent, a small person who’s easily influenced and who’s world is still taking shape; they don’t have the experience or capacity to see the situation for what it is.

Without going too deeply into my personal story, I’ll just venture to say, there’s virtually nothing you could tell me which would shock or surprise me. I’ve pretty much either been through it personally or helped someone else get through it.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

I love movies, particularly heroine type movies, where a seemingly weaker, maybe even helpless woman is knocked down, treated badly, they’re abused, given no thought or respect, thought to be “dumb’ or “weak” but, …here is where it changes.  When it comes to their children, the line has been crossed, the lioness in them rises up, they build themselves, they educate themselves, they grow stronger, they grow more confident and finally, their “ex from hell” doesn’t know what hit ‘em.  They devour ‘em and go on with their lives and live happily ever after.

This is what I do.  I teach you what you need to know. I bring out the lioness, I give you my confidence because I’ve been through this and helped countless other women and men get through it too. Never again. Enough is enough.

It’s a bit dramatic. Hopefully your situation isn’t deserving or dire enough to make a movie from. Hopefully your solutions might be a simply as creating boundaries, making sure their followed and taking the right actions, with confidence if they’re not until the PA stops. Hopefully, ideally, they’re still involved but now in a positive way, in raising your child.

 

A Word to the Instigator of PA

If you’re the instigator or you counter attack, using your child, stop.

I understand all too well, the deep, cutting, severe pain and anger you’re experiencing. Much of the burden has been placed on you and in most cases you have been betrayed in some way.

What I’m going to ask you to consider for just a moment, is this question,

Ultimately, WHO, …WHO will your actions hurt more, the Ex or your child?

Who has their entire life ahead of them? Who has no blame in your situation with your Ex?  I am asking you to be courageous, I’m asking you to do what you said you’d do and protect your child even at your own expense during a divorce or separation. Their ability to thrive and recover from this separation depends on it!

Don’t give them baggage, don’t give them another “syndrome” they don’t need. There’s already enough they’ll pick up on their own journey without yours. Breath, think,  and just stop.  No, you don’t need to say it. Hold your tongue. Consider every word you’d say as though it were medicine or poison you were feeding your child.

Parent Alienation and helping people overcome it is my passion.  It creates ripples though the lives of the children, setting them on new paths with new destinies. This belief is why I went through what I did. I went through it to give you the practical steps you need, the strategy you need, to be  and to give you my confidence. 

Take the first steps, right this moment, to contact me.  We might only talk a minute or leave me a message or book an appointment but do something right now before you leave.  Let me breath more life into you. Let me hear your story, let me give you advise you’ll know is true and real hope to not only change your life but the life of you child,let me give you real hope for the future you dreamed of or never thought possible. It can be.  Give me this honor.

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I’m located in Ontario, California but I meet clients by phone, skype or Facetime as well as in person.

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